Apples-Zeros

IT WAS WRITTEN

Wanda — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:06:39 +0000

Pastor’s Wife’s Letter

How’s this for apocalyptic literature? This was written by a pastor’s wife in biblical prose as a commentary of current events. It is Brilliant.

~~~~~~~~And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as “The One”.He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, “I am sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and Change.

Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed.” And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what “The One” would do, he had promised that it was good; and they believed.
And “The One” said “We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!”

And the people said, “Hallelujah! Change is good!”
Then He said, “We are going to tax the rich fat-cats.” And the people said “Sock it to them!”

“And redistribute their wealth…”
And the people said, “Show us the money!”

And then He said, “Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody.”
And Joe the plumber asked, “Are you kidding me? You’re going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??” And “The One” ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe’s personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, “Isn’t that Marxist policy?” And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, “With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?”
And “The One” said, “Simple. I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!”

And the people said, “Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!”
Then “The One” said, “I shall give 95% of you lower taxes.”

And one, lone voice said, “But 40% of us don’t pay ANY taxes.”
So “The One” said, “Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!”
And the people said, “Hallelujah!! Show us the money!”

Then “The One” said, “I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!”
And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.

And He said, “I shall mandate employer- funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the clinics.”
And the people said, “Give me some of that!”

Then he said, “I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas.”
And the people said, “Where’ s my rebate check?”

Then “The One” said, “I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!”
And the people said, “Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don’t care for that part about higher electric rates.”

So “The One” said, “Not to worry. If your rebate isn’t enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!”

Then He said, “Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let’s grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing…”
And the people said, “Hallelujah!!” And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then “The One” said, “I am the “The One” - The Mes siah - and I’m here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!”

But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, “Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more…”

And the people said, “Wait a minute. That is unfair!!”

And the world said, “Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!”

And the people cried out, “Alas, alas!! What have we done?”

But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon “The One” and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change “The One” had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, “Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!” But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.

You may think this is a fairy tale, but it’s not.

It’s happening RIGHT NOW !!!

PROMISES, LIES AND POLITICS

Wanda — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 22:07:50 +0000

Politicians do the following every 4 years…1).promise to clean up “Washington” and give power back to the people, 2)make the rich cats pay more, and give the little guys a tax break without raising taxes, 3) giving in to terrorists or other bad guys, and 4) depending on the audience, promising more for the Jews,Hispanics or other hyphen-Americans who want a piece of the pie…..all without shafting those pesky white voters.

These are promises only to get elected….some would sell their families to get that power….so we should know most lie and distort the truth for their own good, call each other names, cheat, steal and do whatever it takes to WIN!!!

Once more…. … if we do not remember the past…we are doomed to repeat it?

We Christians are usually pro-Republican because of 2 key issues…but don’t be deceived or shocked to find that behind closed doors all candidates are “POLITICIANS”regardless of the benign masks they wear. Isn’t it interesting that Halloween and election day are so close together on the calendar?

The President has only the power that Congress gives him and the first major controversial issue will likely be followed by a cry for impeachment. or worse a committee called to investigate…….Supreme court judges often vote very different than their past records indicate and the newer ones take a long time to draft opinions or take public stands (more protocol than belief based)…so that often brings us to split votes on important issues. Congress needs to be totally recalled, and we could flip coins and get a better reps! How in the name of sanity did they ever get the right to vote on their own salaries??

God does know what the country needs and deserves (which should make us quake and be prepared for a rough ride). What can we do? Pray like you have never prayed before….and never forget that while we can make a small difference…there is only one God, and his name neither starts with an O or M……..and that is where our focus and priority should always be every day of every year…but especially on November 4, 2008.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS

Wanda — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:25:23 +0000

Emergency Telephone Numbers
These are more effective than 911
When -
You are sad, phone John 14
You have sinned, phone Psalm 51
You are facing danger, phone Psalm 91
People have failed you, phone Psalm 27
It feels as though God is far from you, phone Psalm 139
Your faith needs stimulation, phone Hebrews 11
You are alone and scared, phone Psalm 23
You are worried, phone Matthew 8:19-34
You are hurt and critical, phone 1 Corinthians 13
You wonder about Christianity, phone 2 Corinthians 5:15-18
You feel like an outcast, phone Romans 8:31-39
You are seeking peace, phone Matthew 11:25-30
It feels as if the world is bigger than God, phone Psalm 90
You need Christ like insurance, phone Romans 8:1-30
You are leaving home for a trip, phone Psalm 121
You are praying for yourself, phone Psalm 87
You require courage for a task, phone Joshua 1
Inflation’s and investments are hogging your thoughts, phone Mark 10:17-31
You are depressive, phone Psalm 27
Your bank account is empty, phone Psalm 37
You lose faith in mankind, phone 1 Corinthians 13
It looks like people are unfriendly, phone John 15
You are losing hope, phone Psalm 126
You feel the world is small compared to you, phone Psalm 19\
You want to carry fruit, phone John 15
Paul’s secret for happiness, phone Colossians 3:12-17
With big opportunity/ discovery, phone Isaiah 55
To get along with other people, phone Romans 12
ALTERNATE NUMBERS
For dealing with fear, call Psalm 47
For security, call Psalm 121:3
For assurance, call Mark 8:35
For reassurance, call Psalm 145:18
ALL THESE NUMBERS MAY BE PHONED DIRECTLY.
NO OPERATOR ASSISTANCE IS NECESSARY.
ALL LINES TO HEAVEN ARE AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY.
FEED YOUR FAITH, AND DOUBT WILL STARVE TO DEATH.

OBIT FOR COMMON SENSE

Wanda — Wed, 07 May 2008 18:17:00 +0000

My parents told me about Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on her when making decisions. It seems she was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by.Today I read her obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence to remember her, for Common Sense served us all so well for many generations.
Obituary: Common Sense. Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old she was since her birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. She will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

Her health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened her condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky
plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense was preceded in death by her parents, Truth and Trust; her husband, Discretion; her daughter, Responsibility; and her son, Reason She is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I’m a Victim.

Not many attended her funeral because so few realized she was gone. If you still remember her, pass on her legacy. If not, join the majority and do nothing. Author unknown

What Cancer Can’t Do

Wanda — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:18:10 +0000

Cancer is a scary word and a scary diagnosis. It feels like your body has betrayed you…you have taken it for granted for many years, misused it, ,fed it the wrong foods, denied it exercise and rest, and yet it has hummed along by performing day by day (most of what you asked of it.) It will always be that way….until one day everything changes….and in one instant you realize the rest of your life will now be different. You will not assume anything more about your body, you will feel the smallest pain and wonder , and you will begin to really appreciate all you have been given, and taken for granted on a monumental scale. Finally you will come to see that cancer is so limited….and there is much that cancer cannot do.

It can’t damage LOVE..you will still love and be loved with the same amazing gift of God’s transforming hand each and every day. You will treasure the small moments with friends and strangers. You will delight in making people laugh or smile, kiss a baby’s teeny hand, caress a pet’s tummy and hear the birds sing their morning wake up call. You will still see the warmth in loved ones eyes and know you are precious in their sight…the hugs will be richer and the smiles deeper and every touch will let you know that God is there and watching over you in every way.

It can’t shatter HOPE although there will be days of roller coaster emotions to deal with…but hope is eternal and knowing that He is there makes each day one of grateful devotion. Do you believe God? Then hope is inevitable, and taking each day as a precious gift to be given to those around you is a given. What can I do for you today? Who can I bless? Help me to make someone’s day a little better is my prayer.

It cannot corrode FAITH. Faith is and always will be..without end or change..regardless of your circumstances. We were never promised a free ride and in fact, we are promised much sorrow and trouble in our Christian walk…it’s how you walk that talk that matters. This is your chance to show the world that your theology matches your reality (to mooch from Beth Moore’s BELIEVING GOD).

It cannot destroy PEACE although your enemy will push every button you have to achieve that end…peace comes from our Father and residing in Him gives us everlasting peace and harmony to withstand the harshest upheavals…tears are a safety valve to let the pain flow, but peace is never far away.

It cannot kill real FRIENDSHIP. It in fact enriches the depth of our family of friends. We see their hearts as we open up ours for healing…we see those gems that were hidden in clay and begin to see the people in our world as God sees them. I have prayed that I not come to the end of my life and find out that I have thrown away a fortune in friendships. I have been so incredibly blessed with the most wonderful friends…more riches here than Solomon.

It cannot suppress MEMORIES. Aren’t those special? From the ridiculous to the sublime…the smiles on our faces as we remember a childhood escapade, a youthful blush, even moments of grief over the span of our lives…these are all precious and special to each and should be treasured as the recordings of all that has happened and be thankful for the gift of remembrance.

It cannot silence COURAGE..it in fact ups the ante and gives us more than we thought possible when needed…we can take brief vacations from it ,but when the chips are down…isn’t it amazing how we can face our own demise and be calm within the storm? God is in every detail and gives us ample opportunity to see this on a daily and hourly basis if we only believe HIM.

It cannot invade the SOUL, the SPIRIT, or steal ETERNAL LIFE…now what is it that we fear? It is just the loss of this plane and it’s temporary pleasures and relationships….all the rest is meaningless and dross. We will have eternity with our brothers and sisters to rejoice and give praise to God…to sing and give glory to our creator, our Father, our redeemer, our rock,comforter and the great I AM…isn’t that a glorious journey to EMBRACE?

INSPIRED BY BOOKMARK FROM CANCER CARE SERVICES

Right on Andy Rooney!

Wanda — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 03:45:33 +0000

Andy Rooney said on ‘60 Minutes’ a few weeks back:

I don’t think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers… The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens…Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE ?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right ‘NOT’ to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn’t die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot you, if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can’t understand the word ‘freeze’ or ’stop’ in English, see the above lines.

I don’t think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don’t hate the rich I don’t pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn’t stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that’s better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn’t take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say ‘NO!’

I think tattoos and piercing are fine, if you want them, but please don’t pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don’t want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of ‘Political Correctness.’ I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa ; so how can they be ‘African-Americans’? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don’t go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe . I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.

Thank you Mr. Rooney from a woman who’s not a French-Irish-Dutch American but who is an American and proud of it,the pledge,flag,and this nation under God.

CATALOOCHEE (a novel review)

Wanda — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 23:31:30 +0000

WAYNE CALDWELL’S first novel is one of those amazing flukes….the great Amercian classic novel that authors only dream about . He has incorporated his Appalachian roots into a story that spans generations. Their stories form a painting of a life long gone in an America that I knew little about.

It is authentic, unsentimental and yet full of passion for this lost community and their land. I had such mixed feelings for the government and the national parks program upon completion. I had no mixed feelings for the people in CATALOOCHEE. I loved them in all their humanity and wanted to read it all over again!

THE REAL DEAL

Wanda — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 00:28:42 +0000

Christians Christians

by Maya Angelou

This is Beautiful, enjoy.

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ

that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”

When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’”

I’m whispering “I was lost, Now I’m found and forgiven.”

When I say… “I am a Christian” I don’t speak of this with pride.

I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not trying to be strong.

I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not bragging of success.

I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say… “I am a Christian” I still feel the sting of pain..

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not holier than thou,

I’m just a simple sinner Who received God’s good grace, somehow!

Pretty is as Pretty does… but beautiful is just plain beautiful!

TODAY IS BEAUTIFUL SISTERS DAY!!

To my friends: Democrat or Republican

Wanda — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 00:01:55 +0000

The author of this is unknown, but the sentiment is mine.

To All My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Healthy Salad Recipe

Wanda — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 05:02:02 +0000

CRUNCHY RAW BEET SALAD WITH PEAR*

Peel and cut 4 beets and 3 ripe pears into fine matchsticks

Dress in lemon oil dressing(juice of 1 lemon plus 10 Tbsp. extra virgin oil makes about 3/4 cup dressing…use just a bit) Season with sea salt and freshly ground black pepper

Crumble feta cheese on top,sprinkle with mint leaves and sunflower seeds( I would prefer chopped almonds or walnuts to the seeds)

*This is from cook Jamie Oliver in “Cook with Jamie”, of which I have not read,but just saw this excerpt and thought it tempting to try.